Race Day

Today is race day.  I am still nursing my foot, so I am not running.  I do have a number of good friends racing.  Throw those two facts into the same equation and that creates a swirl of emotions mixed up inside me.  First, I am excited just because it is race day and the route happens to go right past my house.  Races always excite me.  I feel the race day jitters even if I'm not out there pounding the pavement.  I really am crazy, I even eat and hydrate like I am racing.  Second, I have a friend who is running today and just a couple years ago, did not run and in fact used to call me nuts to be running 13.1 miles.  How AWESOME is it that she is now running not only a half, but training for her first marathon!  Let's add to the equation another great friend who is running their first half marathon, really running consistently for the first time in many years.  Add to that yet another person I know who is running their first half.  Wow, that's a lot of excitement!  Let's examine now, the fact that I am not running.  I think the hardest thing I struggle with is that I passionately want to be out there and it is not my choice to be on the sideline, rather a necessity.  I yearn to feel the freedom of my body moving in rhythm to my thoughts, gliding along the paths and feeling the wind blow.  I want to see another runner in front of me, to make a small goal to catch them, then gradually ease up alongside them and pass, hoping I can give a little encouragement for them to follow.  I miss the excitement at the starting line, where everyone else looks just as nervous as I, as I struggle to focus on just why in the world I think I need to run 13.1 miles.  I miss picking out what other runners I think I will beat.  I want to have that overwhelming feeling of accomplishment as I cross the finish line.

So, my emotional equation is wrought with both extreme excitement and extreme sadness, a healthy person will find balance in that.  I will find a way to use this as motivation to keep exercising healthy and safely so that I can be out there for that next race!